Dear romantic souls,
As stated by the singer Adele, “Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead”. Yes it sounds like a cliché but there is some truth in there. Should we accuse fatality so far? Certainly not! Nothing is due to chance or bad luck, you just have to know some basic principles not to ruin everything. A successful relationship requires to start on the right foot and to take matters into your own hands. Even if it seems obvious, it’s not always easy to apply. Here are 10 tips to help you to be happy in love, enjoy!
1) Be with someone who will be able to love you! It goes without saying but how many people complicate things from the start? Of course you cannot ask the other out of the blue “Do you think you can love me?”, it would sound completely crazy! What I want to say is that he has to be available both in legally, physically, personally and morally. You need someone stable so avoid those who are married, engaged, in love with someone else, those emerging from a tumultuous relationship, those who are indifferent, depressed, dangerous, mean and so on. You would put foot in a losing battle… So look for someone who can give you their love freely.
2) Have affinities! To build something together, you must have common interests. “Are you a fan of pandas, traveling, music and series too? That’s wonderful!” Otherwise you will have nothing to share. “If you don’t like Muse nor Game of Thrones, get out of here!” Just kidding. Of course you can have tastes that differ but these differences should not be blocking (in terms of politics, religion or culture for example). This could cause harmful conflicts to the welfare and survival of your relationship. Regarding minimal differences, they can be enriching and develop your openness so remain tolerant!
3) Get to know each other well! It is something that takes time. At the begining of a relationship, everything seems beautiful and magical, we tend to idealize the other and we don’t see his flaws. This period of blindness is normal but it has to be temporary. You must love the other for what he really is and not for what you would like him to be. Notice to incorrigible dreamers and romantics: come down off Cloud Nine! Open your eyes. For your own survival, think with your head, not just with your heart!
4) Define the nature of your relationship from the start! Is it just for fun or do you expect a serious relationship? Be clear to each other about it to avoid unnecessary suffering. Don’t lie about what you want and remain lucid to avoid disappointment. You must know where you step if you don’t want to drown!
5) Learn history lovers of each other! You don’t need the details, just the outline. Knowing if his previous relationships were serious or not, if they lasted long or not and if they ended amicably is more than enough. You better be prepared for all eventualities. And don’t show unhealthy curiosity, you would make him run away!
6) Have a balanced relationship! If you want to maintain your relationship, everyone must be on the same footing. You have to love the other as much as yourself. Your other half should not feel superior or inferior to you. Everyone must accept the other as a whole, with his qualities and defects. It’s the only condition to make it work.
7) Don’t lose yourself in the relationship! Compromises must come from both sides and the involvement must be proportional. There is no question that one gives more than the other. And don’t give up your personality, no one should try to change you. If there are changes to be made about yourself, this should be your decision, ok? So respect each other!
8) Be yourself and keep some mystery! Give your information gradually to make the other curious about you. And wait to be really accomplices to reveal intimate things. Trust must be earned!
9) Don’t put your happiness under the responsibility of the other! Nobody can take on such a burden on his shoulders, the pressure would be insane. The other can be an additional source of happiness but your life doesn’t depend on him, you have to be able to live without him. How did you do before your first meeting? You were on your own and you didn’t need anyone to stand on your own feet. So don’t forget it, this is very important to keep your independence and your individuality.
10) Be honest with your feelings towards each other! Never lie about what you feel. It would hurt the other even more. Transparency is essential in a relationship. We cannot play with people’s heart.
Hope these 10 tips will help you to improve your relationship if you are with someone or to be prepared for a future relationship if you are single. Don’t hesitate to give your opinion in the comment field. xoxo 🙂