As you know, love stories are all more or less complicated. Perfect love doesn’t exist or if it exists, life would quickly become boring, don’t you think? Don’t believe that I’m looking for complications! I wish my life could be easier to live, really. Unfortunately, fate decides sometimes otherwise. Some couples can see every day. In general, it’s because they are married or live together. Others can see only on weekends or once a week, while others see once a month and some have to wait several months to meet… Each relationship is different, there is no universal manual! Long distance relationships can seem even more difficult but they are not insurmountable. “You chose it so don’t complain!” some people might say. It is not totally wrong. I chose to live a distance relationship because I think it’s worth it. But we don’t choose the person from whom we fall in love, we are not at the market! If we really care about someone, why should we forget them on the pretext that they live far away from us? If the feelings are sincere and mutual, and that everyone makes efforts, distance should not be a problem. Ok, if the other lives on Easter Island, this may be complicated to see each other, not to mention that you will ruin yourself just for the plane ticket! If you are actually in this situation, you really have no luck or you are a masochist, just kidding. This post is dedicated to all couples who live far from each other. Here are 17 tips to help you overcome this trial of life and love…
1. See the exciting and intense side of your relationship! The more you spend time away from someone, the more you are happy to interact with them. Each message is eagerly awaited, each reunion is intense, you have an adrenaline rush! When you finally end up in front of the other, it’s pure happiness…
2. Learn to appreciate the little things and little pleasures that life offers! When you’re with your other half for real, all the little everyday gestures like kissing, holding hands or doing shopping take on a whole different scale. Our time together is limited so every minute is precious. It cannot be boring because it’s not a routine!
3. Don’t let the distance between you! If you survive that, you can survive anything! Indeed, distance is the cruelest of all trials in a relationship. If you can handle it, it makes you stronger and it teaches you patience so everything else becomes easier.
4. Get involved as much as the other! This is the only way to make it work and that the other doesn’t feel aggrieved. You need to show solidarity and equity towards each other. Be there for him and vice versa. If anyone feels like making more effort and there is no return, it’s the beginning of the end so react before it’s too late!
5. Be romantic and creative! Distance gives us the courage to express what we feel more freely because the other is not in front of us. And when we meet again, we want our significant other to spend the greatest time of his life so we make more effort to make his stay unforgettable by being great to him, by taking him to places he doesn’t know, by revealing some of our favourite addresses and so on. This is essential if you want him to come back! In addition, it brings out the best of ourselves, isn’t that wonderful?
6. Communicate regularly! It is a key pillar of a good distance relationship. Phone, text, Skype, Facebook, email, WhatsApp, Snapchat, Viber or other, choose what suits you best! The ideal would be daily communication, it doesn’t have to be complicated, even a simple message can please the other. Show the one you love that you think of him or her. And be careful with written communication, some messages can be misinterpreted without punctuation or without smiley!
7. Thoroughly enjoy every moment spent together! Each reunion is a celebration! Seeing the other physically is crucial not to live a virtual love. Everyone needs kisses and hugs so treat yourself! The first hug is always my favourite because it means “I’m back”. The fact of meeting again after several weeks or months of separation will only multiply the strength of your feelings, have a good time…
8. Take time for yourself! Pamper yourself, continue to develop your centers of interest and your hobbies! The time you spend without the other is an opportunity for your personal development. Take advantage of your free time for sports, music, cooking, blogging and so on. You know what makes you happy! Being away from your other half should not prevent you from living your own life, ok?
9. Be independent and treat your social life! The advantage when there is no man at home is that it teaches you to be more autonomous and to cope all alone. Now, when I see a spider (it has to be very little!), I’m not afraid of killing it anymore whereas I was screaming like a crazy girl before. At least, I became more courageous! And I can fix my computer on my own when automatic repair doesn’t work, for example. Being in a distance relationship also allows me to see my friends and my family more often, which is not so bad. Never neglect your social life because if unfortunately one day you become single again (fingers crossed that it never happens), you will need suppport more than ever. Your friends will be more available to cheer you up if you didn’t forget them while you were a couple. Never be a fusion torque that does everything together, it’s a matter of survival!
10. Go beyond the physical frustration! I know, it can be very sad and painful to fall asleep alone and wake up alone when you are in a distance relationship. Just tell yourself that it is temporary. At least, you know that the other is not with you only for sex and that he also loves you for who you are with your personality, your qualities, your way of being and so on. The distance allows you to learn more about the other and vice versa. The positive element is that you are used to communicate and you have topics of conversation. This will save you from having moments of awkward silence and you won’t be bored together!
11. Don’t be afraid of arguing with the other or saying to the other whenever it goes wrong! It’s not because you live a long distance relationship that you have to pretend everything is fine. I hate disputes and conflicts but as I am a sensitive person, I prefer to expel my emotions instead of letting them consume me. It’s the better way to make the other aware of your condition. I’m not asking you to accuse the other, it would be unfair, but just say things diplomatically not to hurt him. It’s not easy but it can be learned! The most important is to find solutions to solve your problems. Don’t hesitate to ask for advice…
12. Trust each other! In a long distance relationship, we are not aware of everything that the other does, and this applies in both directions. I’m not asking you to lie or conceal things, do not get me wrong! I mean that you must not harass him or play intrusive. You can ask general questions like “Do you have any plans for the weekend?” or “How was your day?” but never ask insistent questions like “Who are you going with?” or “What time will you come back?”. This is the best way to annoy him and show him that you don’t trust him. I’m not someone jealous (it’s very rare that it happens) because I find this attitude childish and ridiculous. Living away from the other is hard enough, there is no way of becoming paranoid! You trust him, he trusts you, each remains faithful to the other, it works like this. It’s the basis of any healthy relationship. In case of any worry, just talk instead of ruminating!
13. Enjoy the fact of not having to undergo weekly Sunday lunch with parents of one or the other! At least, you can spend all the time you can together because your time is limited, your parents can understand…
14. Travel together! Travels bring people closer. Try to arrange a little trip or a weekend together, it will offer you a romantic getaway!
15. Surprise the other! Don’t fall into the routine! Offer him something he’s miles away from suspecting. It’s a good way to keep the flame alive… It has to remain occasional to avoid losing its charm!
16. Express your feelings! When one is away from one another, each needs to be reassured about the feelings of the other. If you have already told your feelings in real life, you shouldn’t be afraid to write them. Receiving an “I love you”, “I miss you” or “I was thinking about you” text from time to time always warms up the heart. I don’t ask you to say it every day, it has to be spontaneous and sincere. Show that you care. Unless the other is heartless, he should be grateful and tell you the same in return…
17. Think about your next reunion! If you know when the other comes back, it will help you to wait rather than remain in uncertainty. Thinking about the next things you will do together is always exciting, right?
Hope these 17 tips will help you to overcome the distance test in your relationship. As long as this distance is temporary, there is nothing to worry about. One day you will be reunited for good. Hugs 🙂